Step Eleven

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Spiritual Principle

AWARENESS

Letter from the Editor

In recovery we learn that abstinence, while essential, is only the beginning. The Steps lead us toward a spiritual awakening, and Step Eleven is the daily practice that nurtures it. Prayer and meditation are practical, accessible tools for anyone willing to try them, whatever their understanding of a Higher Power maybe.

November in Central New Mexico has its own kind of light. The cottonwoods along the bosque turn gold, the mornings get crisp, and the Sandias glow that gorgeous earthy pink at dusk. I've come to think of this month as an invitation to slow down and notice how my HP is working in my life. I'm focused on the glorious gifts of nature and abstinence, which is producing fruit in my life.

Before program, this season of gratitude was the season of pie eaten in the dark after everyone had gone to bed. It was the season of rearranging what was left in the pie plate to cover my tracks. It was the season of feeling embarrassed to see family and friends because of my weight and dreading the decision about what to wear to hide my belly and arms. It was the season of shame and avoiding family photos. I did not want a visual "record" of my weight. If there wasn't a photo, I could continue to think I didn't have a problem with food. Managing this season turned into years of no photos and no memories other than shame.

For years, food was where I went when I was feeling anxious, lonely, or even happy. I didn't pray or meditate. I ate. Recovery hasn't made the holidays perfect, but it has made them possible to fully participate without shame. When the holiday table is filled with food, I take a breath and ask my HP to help me today. I pick up prayer first, instead of the fork.

If this upcoming season feels hard for you, you are not alone. Make your plan of eating before Thanksgiving gets underway. Call your sponsor; go to on extra meeting, and lean on the literature and your fellows. We get through these seasons together; one day and sometimes one moment at a time. With gratitude for each of you, and a Power greater than any pie eaten in the dark.